Blog Contribution Challenge

Good morning to all,

I woke up, did my quiet time and saw Patrick's email. Many thanks to our highly capable techno friend, who advise me to enable authors into this blog to get the ball rolling!! Goodness! I did not enable any of you to contribute in the first place! So oops, thousand apologies, I have sent out my invitation to my precious certified trainers, so please accept the invitation when you see it in the email and let's chip in the blog.

Thanks again Patrick for kindly pointing out my mistake, and guess what, I just learned a new thing from him! Hurray!

So we all hope to see sharing of ideas/stories real soon!

Have a blessed day!

Fathering is also Mentoring

Hey everyone! I am so glad in a way that I am bouncing back to DNA! Gosh, so much distractions over the holidays but I have been reading up and so here's some sharings over what I have read on Fathering.... Enjoy! Let me know what you think... pen down here...

Fathering is also a Mentoring Work

"The most important...work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes."
-Harold B. Lee

Fathering is not just a social role; it is the work fathers do every day. This work is different from a job or career in that it stems from a moral obligation to meet children's needs and actively build a caring and supportive father-child relationship. To perform these critical duties, fathers can focus on seven specific categories of work: ethical work, stewardship work, development work, rrecreation work, spiritual work, relationship work, and mentoring work. (Dollahite, Hawkins, & Brotherson, 1997). This part of our home page is related to mentoring work.

Mentoring work consists of the fathers ability and responsibility to consult (to impart ideas and stories when asked) and to contribute (sustain and support generative work of one's children). The desired result of mentoring work is generative fathers and generative children.

Story 1
As children become adults, their fathers can have an important impact on their adjustment and management of adult obligations and complexity. Mentoring work is especially valuable as fathers care for their adult children. The first story is about how a father contributed (gave assistance) to his adult son.

"They give it back. As much as you give your parents, they find ways to give it back. Seven years ago I was in a partnership in construction and it went sour. The company got into a bad situation and, without going into a lot of detail, the bottom line was that I left. All I had known was construction for five or six years, since I'd been home from my mission [for his church]. I didn't know anything else, and construction was gone. There were no homes being built, no job opportunities, and I'd soured on it from what had happened. Basically, I ended up losing a home and becoming unemployed with no money. I'd learned from my family how to survive tough times: You face situations, nothing is ever critical, there's always a tomorrow, you're not going to die, etc.

"Yes, it might be important or a sticky situation, but you'll face it and tomorrow you'll go on. However, for the first time in my life, I didn't feel like there was a tomorrow. I had no money. I had bill collectors coming to the door. It really got to me when I realized that I didn't have enough money to buy a loaf of bread to feed my wife and my one child. When you are put into situations like that, you lose all self-confidence and all feelings of self-worth. I was devastated. My father could sense that something was wrong. My parents didn't know what the situation was or how bad it was, but they just showed up with some groceries. It was as if they were saying, "We don't know what you need, but we have some extra and here it is." It's probably one of the few times that I've cried in front of my father."

Story 2

The following story tells of a father imparting insights and wisdom to his adult daughter, and how much this conveyance meant to her.

"The day was filled with excitement as I put on my cap and gown in preparation for my graduation from Ricks College with my associate's degree. I was surrounded by those whom I loved and was able to share a special moment in my life with them. In all the excitement my parents gave me a card that I did not open for some time. I sat down on the edge of the stage and opened the card while my parents were in their own world off to the side. From the moment I read the words 'Dear Janet,' my eyes began swelling with tears. I was filled with total emotion as I read: 'Dear Janet, I know we don't talk much. Communication between you and your mother seems to be better than between you and me. However, I want you to know how extremely proud of you that I really am.

"The example you set for your brothers and sisters is very important to me, but more than that, the standards you have set for yourself, places you in a class by yourself. I know you will succeed in anything you do; you've proven that many times. You have chosen well: your schools, your course of study, your work, and of course your mate. Be proud of who you are, be strong in what you do, be faithful to your convictions. You are my daughter, I love you very much - Dad.' To many people this would be a normal letter that contains words heard by their fathers many times. But to me, the words are like gold, very rare and precious. My father has never expressed his feelings to me in such a manner. Tears just streamed down my face when I read the words. I wanted to go up and hug my dad to let him know how much they meant but I was restrained. To this day I do not know why, but this experience has been held dear to me and I have cherished this card with all my heart."

Have a great day! God bless you!

Amy

No Preconceptions… Just Needs!

Hey everyone, I read this and want to share with you:

Author: Erin, 04 28th, 2009

The journey through childhood and adolescence can be long and hard. According to the National Institute of Mental Health,

• 1 out of 5 children have a mental health problem that can be identified
• 1 out of 10 children have a “serious emotional disturbance.” This means the problem severely disrupts the child’s ability to function socially, emotionally and/or academically.

The most common of these are anxiety disorders that affect 8-16% of our children. Mood disorders affect another 6-16% and behavior disorders (Attention Deficit Disorder with Hyperactivity, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Conduct Disorder) affect up to 32% of the school age population.

As teachers and parents, we have windows of opportunity to guide children away from the pathway of survival toward their pathway to success. We must stop documenting failure and focus our energies onpreventing it in the first place.

Children do not enter this world with preconceptions, only needs. Through their ‘dance of interaction’ with their environment and the people in it, they begin to develop an understanding of how life works. this understanding influences how each child approaches their future. When the needs are consistently met, the likelihood of positive outcomes is increased. When unmet, the results may be the statistics noted above.

So what are the needs of children?

• the need for an ongoing nurturing relationship; to love and be loved.
• the need for physical and emotional safety
• the need for a sense of belonging and community
• the need for structure
• the need for experiences tailored to their individuality
• the need to make it past survival and into the development of their maximum potential.

Every child is perfectly designed, and it is our goal to influence that design in a way that builds strong lives. As we do that, we must embrace the idea that all strong lives are built in childhood!

What is Family Coaching

Strong lives are built in childhood! There is no magic wand, it takes hard work.

Family Coaching is an opportunity to:

~ Work one on one with your own certified human behavior specialist to discover empowering perspectives and effective solutions to parenting challenges.

~Transform your parent-child relationship into one that you have dreamed of by leveraging strengths.

~Apply the most current, cutting edge insights in children’s behavior and discipline so you can move beyond bossing, begging and bribing.

In Family coaching, you will learn the same tools and insights from Parenting with Style, with a special emphasis on applying these to concerns specific to your family. Our approach is one of problem-solving rather than counseling.

Email us should you need more information: enquiry@dnagroupinc.com.sg The first counseling is free on us!

Have a happy day!
Amy

"Of all the "attitudes" we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life changing. ~ Zig Ziglar"